Who Speaks with God’s Voice?
After reflecting on John 1, this image came to mind and I decided to share it specifically because it makes me uncomfortable. Especially when I first shared it in the context of a solemn candlelit Advent mass, I wondered if it might even diminish my credibility. And, I’m wondering if it might also make you uncomfortable, and yet also maybe curious, which seems like an appropriate posture for the story in this gospel passage. So I’ll leave it with you and explain who it is later.
What I really appreciated in this reading is the humility of voice from John the Baptist, his refusal to aggrandize himself or magnify his religious authority in the face of open opportunity and even goading to do so. There is a swift and urgent honesty to John’s language. Instead of artfully describing himself in glowing terms or even claiming dignity, he prioritizes making sure he is not confused with more than who he is: “No, I’m not a prophet, no I’m not Christ, I am not fit to undo his sandal-strap, I’m just a wild voice crying out.” And then he just goes on doing his relatively small, humble, earthy, creative, intimate, wild work until he is killed.
I see this as a clear juxtaposition, as it’s a really hypocritical series of questions that the priests and Levites are asking him. The opposite of what John does is exactly how they have come to their own position of religious and social authority and power: they claim the voice of God to manipulate and exploit, by interpreting the scriptures according to their own visions to suit their personal benefit, causing the suffering and emotional turmoil of vulnerable people in their communities, remaining rich while there are beggars starving in their streets. They use clever and misleading arguments to try to trick and deceive people into submission. They rule by coercive fear, they control others by obfuscating something as straightforward as divine Love into judgements and performance. They claim they are the good guys and no doubt see themselves that way, God’s servants, who have sacrificially dedicated all their lives to their holy work.
I wonder how many of my trusted leaders and influencers have done the same in my life, how many times I have been compelled by the message of a well-dressed, eloquent Christian man speaking with the authority of the church, claiming to be speaking for God,
Meanwhile the truth was better found in wild places, the voices on the edges of society, the unexpected and uncomfortable places, or outside of it entirely, the voice of the wilderness herself?
How do I notice and identify Christ’s light when I see it, how does it sound and look and smell and taste and feel?
Do I listen for the quietest voices, the weirdest voices, the shunned voices, the ones that make me the most uncomfortable?
When I was a theology student in university, I went to a meet-and-greet book signing for two famous Christian apologists, pastors, leaders and authors, one who I frankly found to be very handsome, eloquent and a brilliant writer - I had devoured his books, all of which are New York Times #1 bestsellers. The other man was an apologist with a multi-million-dollar Christian media empire spanning the globe. They both built massive ministries with hundreds of millions of followers around the world, including all of my friends and family at the time. I had friends who were devoted Christians solely because of these men and their influence. I trusted their words and teachings.
In 2016, I began a bad break up with Christianity and I drafted a long letter explaining what had happened for my sister. I had many sincere and compelling reasons, chief of which was this. I wrote: “I realized much of what keeps me from believing in God are the words of people who claimed to speak for God with his authority when in fact they were merely speaking for themselves.”
And I’m thinking about this now, in 2020, because a growing number of women are coming forward with testimonies about how the great apologist I'd met used his power and influence over the years to sexually abuse them and then silence them, and the other Christian author, now one of Trump’s top promoters, has been igniting violence across the nation, with obscene racism and fascist commentary. And that’s not to say they never said anything true; everyone always says some true things. But it certainly undermined their theology's trustworthiness as their holy halos cracked and came crashing down before my eyes.
This week, as I was thinking about who my "John the Baptists" are, the person in this image came to mind right away. This is a photo of Natalie Wynn, and I won’t talk too much about who she is or what she says, but I will say I cannot tell you how much of divine light her words and art have brought into my life in the past few years. She’s kinda perfect for the role: she wears scandalous clothing, she talks about sex a lot, she’s not really famous except she has a fringe following and many ardent enemies, she’s an admitted alcoholic struggling with mental illness, she’s trans and a lesbian, she lives on the edges and outskirts of society, she has little power but she uses all of it to speak and create and heal, she's no where near any religious platform, and pretty much everyone I know in my church communities would dismiss her or think she might be crazy. Or at least full of shit, not light. Which is pretty much exactly my interpretation of John: camel skin wearing, eating locusts, breaking all the rules, saying and doing real weird stuff, living on the rejected outskirts, calling for change and justice from the edges of society.
There is so much danger for when anyone hijacks the light of Christ. Look, they ultimately tortured and killed Jesus, they beheaded John over their misguided obsession with God as they imagined him, and went on embezzling his power for their own good. And I wonder how many of them lived all their lives having fully convinced themselves they were doing what was right and righteous.
For as long as people have conceived ideas of gods and divinity, throughout history, the strong have constantly leveraged these religious beliefs to control, harm, humiliate, murder, torment, belittle, decieve, crucify. Deny human rights. Dehumanize. Condemn the poor and the sick and the queer and the sex workers. It is happening in every country in every society of the world today.
I'll leave you with this poignant passage from dear Father Rohr:
The only people who grow in truth are those who are humble and honest. A humble person is simply someone who is naturally honest about their own truth. You and I came along a few years ago; we’re going to be gone in a few more years. The only honest response to such a mystery is humility.
Once our defenses are out of the way and we are humble and poor, truth is allowed to show itself. God could not risk giving truth to proud and power hungry people; they will always abuse it. Truth shows itself when we are free from ideology, fear, and anger. Being so certain that “I know” won’t get you anywhere, spiritually speaking. Only such non-knowing is spacious enough to hold and not distort wisdom. Similarly, meaning is not created; it is discovered. The great patterns are always the same: either fear or love, illusion or love. Healthy religion is always about love. All we can do is get out of the way.
